Category: Comedy (page 1 of 3)

Tales from Airport Border Control…

OK, so we’d survived the night of all of us in one room. Just about.

And we’d had an incredible holiday in Austria (more in future posts).

But we really hit a low point with the security check on the way back. I mean, we’ve only been flying for twenty years…

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Leaving the house

When I was left in charge of getting both children out of the house today, all was going really well.

Both Sophie and Harry were dressed, fed and watered and were all set for Sophie’s dancing class. We were well ahead of schedule and set to actually be early for an organised event.

(This was made all the more remarkable by the fact my wife – normally our chief family organiser – was out doing Park Run for the first time since Harry was born)

As I put Harry into the car seat in the living room in preparation, I smiled to myself in a congratulatory way.

How overconfident can you get…
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Diddy Dance – Sophie’s latest sporting exploits

This blog has charted accounts of swimming, gymnastics and football. Such is the varied life of a toddler these days.

However, a New Year brings new beginnings and after my wife successfully secured (captured? grabbed? ensnared?!) Sophie’s attention with Strictly Come Dancing, last week saw myself and my little girl foxtrotting down to a toddler dance session at a local high school.

Great.

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Lockdown: Potty Training

Three days into Potty Training.

I’ve not left the house for almost 72 hours.

A lot of blood, sweat and tears has been spilled.

Our little girl is sick to death of the little green toilet we keep asking her to sit on.

But, whisper it quietly, I think we might be getting somewhere.

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Six weeks in, Rebecca “Jef-t” the Apprentice

It was so lovely last night to watch Becs in her element – chatty, enthusiastic, exuberant. She came across as warm, great fun and bursting with creative energy.

What a shame that was only on The Apprentice: You’re Fired.

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One laborious night later…

When I suggested broadcasting  my wife’s labour on Facebook Live, I assumed she’d share my opinion that this was staying in touch with current trends.

I thought she’d love it.

Sadly though for those of you who stayed up on Monday night in anticipation, the idea was unequivocally vetoed and this blog post will have to be the next best thing!

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Sp-bec-tacular – Rebecca’s 1st four weeks on The Apprentice

Well she’s still there – good on you Becs for making it through the first third of The Apprentice 2016.

Wow it’s been tough viewing though!

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Not another workman…!

If you’ve seen any of my recent posts, you’ll know that the house has been a workman’s paradise.

What with the bathroom, the electrics, the roof, plasterers and even having to make a hole in our in-built wardrobe to put up a curtain – a pretty nifty workaround from Alex! – it has been all go.

Sophie has coped remarkably well with it all but I was worried that last week’s altercation may have drained all her energy…

Gettit? Read on and you will.

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DIY House Nightmares part 2

Having survived the electrical work, we turned our attention to the prevailing concern of our house…the roof.

Now, our road is full of 1930s houses. The roofs are all exactly the same and have been for the past 80 years. Pretty darn good workmanship if you ask me (and my wife’s Grandad – an ex-roofer himself –  would agree.)

However, when damp is creeping into your loftspace and there’s some sneaky drips on the wall, it’s certainly advisable to get it sorted out – and sharpish.

So, on the first day of the holidays, we watched as the outside of our house turned into a building site. At least this time the work was all external and you were a bit freer inside but it was still remarkably intrusive.

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My wife and I were up ladders inside  painting so at least we felt part of the DIY action.

20160802_155448Meanwhile thick-booted roofers tramped around the top of our house, clambering over tiles and chucking down the old broken and unusable original roof.

It looked like a great sport – aim for the skip, ten points if you hit the giant tiger which someone dumped in there – but actually it was much to the dismay of our next door neighbour who quite rightly took umbrage at the shards of tile which sprayed over our wall onto his pristine front garden and drive. Oops.

The guys we got in to do the roof were highly efficient. They arrived at ours before nine, taking down one roof and replacing it with another all in the space of six days. Very impressive. Personally, I loved impressing Sophie by climbing up the ladder and shinning up the roof to the ridge tiles at the summit. Never touched the top of a chimney before! (Wouldn’t dare do it now as I’d hate to damage what has been put on!).

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I have learned lots about flashings and clay tiles. I know how valuable lead covering is around chimney breasts in order to keep out the rain. I’ve even tried flogging some old tiles to a local building site but sadly they were having none of it. Eighty years old and nobody wants them. Shame.

I did feel a bit sorry for the guys when the North Western skies opened and the rains began to pour down. Still, I guess that’s very much par for the course when you’re a roofer in this part of the world. A bit like the silly behaviour of children in a classroom after lunchtime I guess!

All done though very quickly and without needing the help of the boss who simply came in at the end to settle up and sweep away all the mess.

Sounds great and for the most part it has been. The roof looks terrific and no doubt they’re hoping the rest of our road will be thinking of tapping up their services. After all, ours can’t have been the only roof on this street having issues with age.

And we thought that it was all sorted, until damp spots started appearing in Sophie’s bedroom again after some particularly heavy showers. A roof over our heads? Yes, but not quite in perfect condition just yet…

Eureka: Fun for all the family

I remember being entranced by this museum as a child. In our house, Eureka became one of the most memorable trips we’d done because we had enjoyed it so much.

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Therefore, although taking Sophie felt a bit like a timewarp, it was also really wonderful to share part of my history with her present.

And wow did she enjoy it.

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