Bedtime routine is a little bit up in the air in the moment.

Not because Sophie is refusing to attend family church, have her bath or have her final milk. Not at all!

Instead, her actions are prompting me to turn into a cross between James Bond, Austin Powers and Alan Turing…


I don’t know if anyone else can relate to this but it’s borne out of the fact she seems to be getting a bit distressed in the evening, and more frequently than usual.

Previously, she’d go down to sleep really easily but just recently her approach to sleeping has varied from downright crashing out to real temper fits.

It’s like trying to crack the Enigma (Turing reference!) attempting to work out what’s wrong. Often nothing really!

Benedict Cumberpatch as Alan Turing

In order to make her feel a bit more settled, I’ve taken to giving her a cuddle and then sitting by the side of her cot as she drops off to sleep.

And that’s where my espionage abilities come in handy.

Despite being in a semi-comatose state, my daughter is intricately aware of any movement in her bedroom. If I so much as shift a muscle, the chances are it will disturb her.

So I sneak, obviously in a manly way, with the poise of Bond and the mischief of Powers towards the door – one stealthy bottom cheek shuffle at a time.


007 has nothing on me!


It’s slow going but as I dodge past the creaky floorboard, I quietly exhale with relief. She’s not noticed. The sleep has not been disturbed.

She’s not quite old enough to do the extra loud snore and settle which causes every film character to hold their breath. But you can certainly tell if she’s watching you.

With painstaking precision, I prise the door open. BANG! The sign on her door, not properly blutacked smacks back onto the handle. I desperately cling at it while Sophie repositions herself and reclaims her snuggle blanket. Phew.

I shuffle out of the door and onto the landing, pulling it softly closed behind me. Made it!

It’s only when I get downstairs that the monitor proclaims the unmistakeable sound of her tears starting once more.

Here we go again!